Connection with others
We are one big collective organism engaged in one endless project together, we are one. Connection increases healthy choices as well as reduces damage to our bodies defense mechanisms. Human connection is just as essential as food, water and exercise. Connection decreases stress response, increases desire to help others, and increases our self-esteem. If our ancestors were ever alone they needed to be on alert for both physical and social threats. Our bodies will alert us to a lack of connection with increased stress and anxiety. The riots during the Corona Virus lockdown demonstrate our lack of connection causing threatening feelings and actions. Strong relationships matter most for health, performance, and happiness. We were created for community. As people reach their final hours, all they think about is their loved ones.
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the spirit of others” (Gandhi) All of life’s most meaningful moments include connection with other people. Surround yourself with those who you want to become. Choose inspiration, not jealousy. The more interested we are in others the more we adopt their way of thinking. When we desire to change others, it is most effective to change people through example. Think of how little you like to be told what to do or how to think. Ask questions to get people to talk about the things people care about most.
You need to feel loved and respected allowing love and respect for everything else. We have a desire to be seen who we are and that we matter. Loneliness further pushes us away from making social connections and feelings that others don’t want us. These social behaviors are most heavily influenced from our childhood experiences. We compound the negative effects of loneliness and other failure by acting in a way that confirms the original belief. When you wish the best for others you are at peace. "Love is as a lamp gives light to the good in the room and does not withhold it from the bad." When you love people you can become fully aware of their true personality and see their potential. Once you are aware of your true personality all that is left to do is just to be. You can see the unity of reality and all souls allowing love for everyone and everything. You cannot love someone if you need them. We define our ego based on reaction of others which then influences our thoughts and actions. If you have to use, manipulate, and win them, you cannot let them be free. External battles happen in life when your internal state isn’t satisfied. Every action and decision is made based off of either fear or love. We tend to think if we hide things from ourselves and others they will go away. We think people close to us don’t want to hear our deep feelings. Expressing our feelings forces us to confront the difficult points in our life instead of avoiding them causing deep pain. Spending time alone can be useful if we are not lonely to address thoughts, clarify feelings, to become comfortable with ourselves, and to enhance creativity. ”Unite with community over a purpose, return love for hate, include the excluded, and admit that you're wrong.” (Vivek Murthy)